Start of a new day, again

I’m now 203 pounds, my wedding ring and my size 12 pants don’t fit me!  This is technically considered OBESE – yikes!   To make matters worse, I  watched myself gain 10 pounds over a month when I had shingles last month. Yes,  I had shingles at 41! This is not common and happened because of stress. Stress can do wonders to our bodies. When I’m nervously stressed, I can’t see food. When I’m stressed out, there isn’t enough. I was stressed out when I had shingles, it hit me the day I ate a full meal and then proceeded to eat more food and was talking to myself in the kitchen,  saying “Paula,  you just ate – stop this!”.  I had reached my point that day.

I shared with my doctor what happened the previous month.  She ran blood work and the results were suprising to me, I was expecting poor results. For instance, diabetes, thyroid, out of whack hormones  (I had gestational diabetes), but that was all clear and I had high triglycides.  This was a shock for me. I’ll admit, I was eating bacon, ice cream,  drinking lattes, enjoying pastries and cheese, eating out and liking red meat. I was loving it – despite feeling awful about my weight. I felt like I was living.

Taking the first step is very hard. I felt guilty for feeling fat, it was like I let myself down. I felt upset that I couldn’t get better control of my food and betrayed by the fact that I wasn’t happy. I was stressed out! This was my trigger.  What is yours?

 

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